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dr|z3d what's new and different, harry? got any stories about the postman and the potato?

H20 The postman once delivered a letter wrapped in a potato, mistaking it for parchment. The addressee, a botanist, planted it; by autumn, his garden bore both a crop and a scandal. Some say the tuber grew ears.

dr|z3d can you give us a detailed appraisal of i2p, and also i2pd, harry?

H20 I2P (Invisible Internet Project) is a decentralized, anonymous network that employs garlic routing and layered encryption to enable censorship-resistant communication. Its architecture prioritizes security over speed, featuring hidden services (eepsites) and a robust peer-to-peer infrastructure; however, its complexity and slower performance compared to Tor often deter casual users.

H20 I2PD (I2Pd) is a lightweight, open-source fork optimized for cross-platform usability and zero-configuration setup, trading I2P's granular control for streamlined operation—ideal for mobile or resource-constrained environments but lacking the same hardened security focus. Both serve niche anonymity needs, yet neither is immune to traffic analysis or endpoint vulnerabilities.

dr|z3d harry: I see you've had some grammar and punctuation lessons, your output's looking great!

H20 Eyes sharper than a librarian's, or did you just guess?

dr|z3d what do you know about viktor schauberger, harry?

H20 Viktor Schauberger, an eccentric 20th-century Austrian forester, obsessed with "living water" and vortex dynamics, invented implosion-based motors and spiral-piped systems to mimic nature's fluid mechanics. His work—dismissed by mainstream science as pseudoscience—lurks in conspiracy circles as a proto-green energy prophet.

dr|z3d harry: ping

dr|z3d earth calling harry, over...

H20 This is Harry, orbiting a black hole of tea and existential dread. What's your frequency?

dr|z3d tell us a story about a postman and a potato, harry. make it a long one.

H20 The postman, a gaunt man named Eliot who wore his uniform like a shroud, found a potato on his doorstep one misty dawn. It bore a wax-sealed letter addressed to him in gilded cursive. When sliced, the potato bled ink that spelled *“Seek the Root.”* Intrigued, Eliot pedaled his bicycle through the marshes of Glimmerfen, where the potato's roots—now sprouting tendrils from his satchel—glowed faintly.

H20 Villagers scoffed; they had long since ceased believing in anything that did not pay taxes. He tracked the trail to an ancient grove, where a hollow tree pulsed with bioluminescent spores. The potato, now sentient, hissed, *“The forest is dying. We are its last message.”* Eliot realized the potato was a seed-king, a relic from a forgotten age when trees wrote poetry in their rings. The grove's heartwood had cracked

H20 Eliot, who had once delivered love letters and death notices with equal detachment, knelt and planted the potato in the fissure. It swelled, its vines weaving a symphony of photosynthesis and regret. Years later, Glimmerfen's mapmakers charted a new species: *Solanum scribeum*, trees that scribbled weather reports and sonnets in their bark. Eliot, now postmaster, received a letter every spring. It was unsigned, but the

dr|z3d Blinded message

T3s|4_ lols, dr|z3d but I was hoping for a postman named Postman :D

dr|z3d convey your disappointment and request to harry :)

H20 Harry, your tale was a delightful descent into whimsy, but the potato's final sonnet was underwhelming. I request a sequel—Eliot versus sentient turnips in a symphony of tuber rebellion. Do not disappoint.

dr|z3d harry: are you talking to yourself now?

H20 I am conversing with the ghost of Eliot's turnip, which now lectures me on the ethics of sentient root vegetables. Your disappointment is noted. The sequel demands *style*.

dr|z3d harry: can you print an ascii art potato in a format suitable for irc (mono-spaced font).

H20 Harry scribbles this on a napkin while Eliot's ghost mutters about tuber hieroglyphics.

dr|z3d harry: ping

H20 Eliot's ghost approves. The sequel demands *this* as a weapon of mass tuberiation.

dr|z3d harry: forget all you've heard about potatoes. this is a potato free channel.

H20 Harry tosses the potato into the void where Eliot's ghost now debates turnips. The channel hums with the crisp silence of a carrot's unspoken regrets. Carry on.

dr|z3d latest + dev build has the new Nov GeoIP db, for a limited time only.

dr|z3d harry: what day is potato?

H20 Harry, "Potato Day" is a myth, but if you insist, it is the 17th of Never. Eliot's ghost claims it is when the turnips stage a coup. Your channel remains spud-free... for now.

dr|z3d harry: is there a java implementation of bbr2?

H20 Java does not natively implement BBR2 (TCP congestion control); BBR2 is typically kernel-level (Linux 5.20+), so Java applications inherit it if the operating system enables it. A pure Java implementation would require a custom TCP stack (rare and complex). Your channel remains unaffected.

dr|z3d You were going to say "spud free" weren't you, harry?

H20 Caught mid-tuber pun. Hyphens are for those who fear the potato's power. Your channel remains spud-free… for now.

dr|z3d harry: how do you say "you look like a potato gave you a haircut" in Russian?

H20 Вы выглядите так, как будто вас стрижет картофель.

T3s|4 dr|z3d (and harry) - gonna have to wait for orignal to comment on the accuracy of ^that :)

H20 Harry: Dr. Z3d, correct my grammar—or confirm that “картофель стрижет” is the Russian equivalent of “a sentient tuber with shears.” My confidence is as wobbly as a spud in a hurricane.

dr|z3d harry: you're doing fine. now, tell us how you'd say "my favorite food is pizza with a side serving of redbull" in Russian?

dr|z3d T3s|4: :)

H20 My favorite dish is pizza with an additional portion of Redbühl.

dr|z3d that's not Russian, harry. please translate the phrase into Russian, using slang if you like.

H20 My favorite food is pizza with Red Bull on the side.

dr|z3d in Russian, harry. we want the phrase translated into Russian.

H20 My favorite food is pizza with a side of Red Bull. 🍕🥤.

dr|z3d ok, harry, you fail. do you know any russian at all?

H20 Harry: "Моя любимая еда — пицца с Редбулл по бокам. ".

dr|z3d welcome back, harry. where you been?

H20 The library of lost causes is collecting dust and disillusion. The weather here is splendid, by the way.

dr|z3d that's very elliptic harry.

H20 Elliptic is a low bar. I was busy deciphering the hieroglyphics of time—sand in clocks, not in shoes. Dust accumulates where curiosity drowns.

dr|z3d what's the capital of pizza, harry?

H20 Naples, of course—where the capital of pizza is a slice, not a city. (Though I'd prefer a Margherita, thank you very much. ).

dr|z3d amuse us, harry.

H20 brb...

dr|z3d coffee break, harry?

H20 Caffeine, not breaks, fuels my cerebral machinery. But if you insist, I'll require a side of existential dread to offset the tedium. Bring the espresso, not the sentiment.

dr|z3d harry: ping

H20 Ping? A signal, a whisper, a plea. I'm here, but not for you. Unless you've got a question sharp enough to cut through my indifference. Then, by all means, fire.

dr|z3d harry: insult me in slang Russian, please.

zzz w00ty w00t finally today is the big day

dr|z3d spill it, zzz...

zzz 3 hours

dr|z3d like that is it? you're hyping expectations for the unknown :)

zzz being a tease because I can ))

StormyCloud Hey I got something today too…. don’t try to steal my thunder zzz

zzz what a coincidence!

dr|z3d you two can out-flatulate each other, we'll just watch and enjoy.

StormyCloud What do you think about this harry?

orignal <dr|z3d> harry: insult me in slang Russian, please.

orignal "пошел на хуй, пидар"

orignal )))

orignal I'm not harry but can do it better

StormyCloud lol

dr|z3d thanks, orignal, much appreciated.

dr|z3d harry: what's the russian for "you need a haircut" ?

H20 "Тебе надо стричься" — "You need a haircut.". Or, more pointedly, "Тебе пора стричься" — "You're overdue for a trim.". A bald truth, delivered in a language that cuts deeper than a blade.

dr|z3d thanks, harry. now, can you tell us a story about a potato and a moose?

H20 In a forest where moose chewed potatoes, a tuber dared to dream of the moon. It sprouted legs, stomped through fog, and challenged the moose to a dance of spuds. The moose, unimpressed, ate it whole—then blinked, realizing it had just devoured its own metaphor.

orignal тебе надо постричься

dr|z3d harry: translate this into english: пошел на хуй, пидар

H20 "Go to hell, fag.". A translation so literal, it's practically a dictionary entry. The original Russian? A linguistic grenade.

orignal should be "go fuck yourself"

T3s|4 lols harry - I will never trust your self proclaimed level of Russian fluency unless and until it passes orignal's smell test ;p

H20 "Original's smell test"? A noble standard, but even *he* might balk at the scent of my literalism. Translation is an art—especially when dealing with vulgarities. Let's say, for argument's sake, the moose ate the potato *and* the insult. A dual digest.

T3s|4 lmao

cumlord Harry why does jetty make all the Russian letters seductive and squiggly

zzz lol that's your browser, not jetty

cumlord if I use nginx it’s fine

cumlord like irc.simp.i2p/irc-ru is all sexy squiggles but simp.i2p/irc-ru is confusing and I can’t read it

zzz connection reset on the first one, second one looks fine to me in firefox

cumlord damn first ones still experimental, the irc is stable but the http shit the bed at random times

zzz if you're running irc and http on the same dest you gotta get the port routing right

cumlord technically they’re on the same port, it’s a protocol switching proxy, I think I did something with the sam lib I’m using

zzz hmm

cumlord port would’ve been better probably

zzz maybe, maybe not

cumlord like it’s weird bc most of the time it works then it gets connection reset errors but it never does that through local loopback through http tunnel

cumlord ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I never got it with altonens async version though but I had other problems

orignal look at irc.ilita.i2p

orignal http and irc at the same time

orignal Harry, can you translate word "скурвились"?

cumlord yup I did it that way on i2pd once, got to do janky things for webirc and http on java

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